


A pain worse than bleeding

by MunkUnk



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 21:19:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MunkUnk/pseuds/MunkUnk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cherik (slightly one-sided, it would seem), kinda-sorta character study on Erik. </p><p>//We want the same thing// it would be so much easier if Charles would yell at him.</p><p>Ficlet</p>
            </blockquote>





	A pain worse than bleeding

There are worse things, Erik realizes, than yelling and screaming during a fight. The silent, calm fury that Charles Xavier exudes is one of them (a fury that doesn't promise violence in the near future the way Erik's does, but rather it holds something even worse than all of the physical hurt in the world could for Erik, pain he can deal with, but lack of forgiveness he cannot. And the thought that Charles might not forgive him is nearly more than he can handle.)

( _I want you by my side_ )

There's something wrong, but he can't quite tell what it is, his hands are trembling slightly as he grips Charles shoulder maybe a little harder than he intended to; but Charles remains silent, looking up at him with wide blue eyes, and a strange expression; it isn't open the way it usually is and Erik doesn't understand where he went wrong; what he did to cause this grief

( _we're brothers you and I_ )

 _Is there nothing_ , he wonders as he gazes down into those beautiful blue eyes, so open and expressive; yet guarded and haunted with a pain Erik doesn't understand; a pain he can't begin to believe he is causing, _I can do to fix this? To gain forgiveness?_

( _all of us together_ )

There's more than the situation wrong here; and Charles is trembling in a way Erik doesn't understand, yet he knows it is a bad thing. He knows, without acknowledging what is wrong here, yet he refuses to believe it. And he talks so that the silence won't deafen him.

( _protecting each other_ )

But it isn't helping because it is only his own voice that rings back in his ears, and crashes through his mind. And he desperately wants to hear Charles say yes; to have Charles stand at his side (to have Charles), and if only Charles would take his hand things would work out fine; and he would be okay.

They would be okay.

( _we want the same thing_ )

Desperately wants to hear Charles say anything, because anything is better than nothing; because with nothing he is left with his own words echoing uselessly in his mind, and he doesn't know how to deal with that.

But knows even less on dealing with this sort of situation; so he clings desperately to the only friend he ever had, and hopes.

[ _Oh my friend, I'm sorry, but we do not.]_

Hopes are always so easily dashed, and broken.

Hopes and hearts.

And as Charles slips from his grasp to Moira's, Erik wonders if his heart is falling to pieces at his feet; or if that's simply the sand dropping from his uniform.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I really need to stop doing this shit when I get bored. But don’t worry, X-men isn’t the only fandom I write obnoxious/stupid/bad ficlets for like this. Far from it, actually.


End file.
